Sleepless in SanDiego

3 hours until I take off for Denver. I currently attempt to pack my clothes for the weekend. Usually this is never an easy task, packing for a trip. Length usually doesn't matter surprisingly, it always culminates into a frenzy of stuffing random clothing into a bag a few hours prior to take off. There is no frenzy at the moment but yet a bag still remains only half full of random clothes. My frenzy is more of stumbling and blankly staring at my closet, then draws, then back at my closet. The fact that i have only 2 hours of sleep is the basis of my effortless and mindless packing. It is hard to concentrate on what you may need to wear for 3 days when your mind just wants to be wrapped in a comfy blanket. I don't think that look would fly for a baby shower or a flight to denver.

Needless to say all I can think about is bed. Bed. Bed. Bed. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

I am flying to Denver because my grandma flew out for the week. My Aunt is also going to have a baby shower for my cousin, who is due in July. I thought it I would partake in the festive and get to see my much missed grandma. Really though, I wish I was staying home. I would love for a whole free weekend to relax, spend some quality time at home with the roomies, and just chill out. Alas I bought the ticket 2 weeks ago so I didn't know I would just rather stay at home. It doesn't help I am half asleep. It makes me slightly more grouchy about leaving. Also the slight fact that i charges this trip because I really couldn't afford it has me a bit upset with myself and spending habits. In the end though I know as soon as I see my grandma I will be happy I spent the money. I know I will enjoy the weekend. I am just being a sleep deprived cranky bitch.

Sandy Nude Beach of San Diego

I finally made it to Black's Beach. The nude beach in San Diego. The San Diego beaches have now experience but naked body. I was joined and driven by my friend Quinton. One of the first people I meet out here and became friends and close with.


today inspired the posting of this video.

White Sandy Beach - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_YfyKahP-0

Mexico Weekend

I spent the weekend in mexico. I never had a desire to go to Mexico. Ever. Nothing against Mexico,.but it is a country that was not high on my visitation priority list. However the pressure was on now that I live in San Diego and about 30 minutes from the border, if that, to go visit. I was fortunate enough to get to experience Mexico in a facet that I enjoy experiencing any new city, state or country, with the locals. My friends Eric and Brian invited me down to Eric's house in Mexico, nestled between Rosarito and Ensanada, right on the coast. Eric's family own a large plot of land with about 10 houses on it.

This weekend happen to be Eric's father's birthday. On Saturday I got to enjoy finally a truly authentic Mexican meal. Homemade. As many of my adoring fans may know, Mexican food has never agreed with me, even tough I always eat it. Of course it is partly my fault, I chow down on the evil tortilla chips prior to my main meal. Every Mexican restaurant i have been to though, the food never seems fresh. However, the food I tasted at this birthday fiesta was delicious. It has changed my opinion of Mexican food. Home cooked food is always the best.

My experience in Mexico was perfect. Low key, relaxing, with cheap margaritas, a nice swim in the clear blue ocean and a quick visit to Ensanada to sample the Mexican Tourist traps, including a stop at la farmacia. I had no desire to visit Mexico as a pure tourist, that is not the Mexico I wanted to experience. Like, any place I visit, I want to dive into the culture, not the facade made for cameras and postcards. I mean, don't get me wrong, I do enjoy seeing those well known tourist spots, but I demand more from my visits.

Sadly I returned sunday morning just to go to work sunday night. Here I sit typing this throughout my night, finishing my shift right now.

I was pulled from 4North, a Medicine floor to 3North Bone Marrow/Transplant floor. Throughout the night I kept thinking how I don't want to be a nurse anymore. I am over bedside nursing I think. My feelings vary. Now that I am done, I look and think tonight was not bad. My opinion was the exact opposite in the beginning of the night. I'm not sure where Nursing will lead me, but then again does anyone truly know where life will take them. I know this is not my passion. I can feel it. I can tell by other nurses. I am competent, I know what I am doing and my patients always love me. My soul though does not feel fulfilled by nursing. Not sure where to go from here. I feel though I need to try something other than Med/Surg bedside nursing. Am I proud to be a nurse? Yes. Will I ever give it up completely, Never. But Med/Surg is not my type of nursing anymore.

How I went from Mexico to my dislike of my career, I have no idea. This is my brain.

It is 8:30 in the morning and I feel wide awake. I wish I had someone to go get breakfast with... mmmmmm.. eggs

Internet Withdrawal.

2 weeks without Internet, good consistent high speed internet. It sucks. Instead I am left stealing whatever wireless connection my computer can connect to. Did I mention it sucks. Now, besides the little inconveniences like not being able to check my emails, myspace or post rambling blogs that I have come to enjoy, there are more serious issues. First I do all my banking and bill paying online. 2 weeks is not a good amount of time to go without Internet. Also I need to buy a airline ticket to Denver in 2 weeks. With all this I started to notice an increase in irritability, poor temper control, and computer abuse. Sure signs of withdrawal. However, like other unhealthy addictions, this one needs to be feed for the sake of my bank accounts! I can handle the limited myspace checks and porno, but seriously not missing paying my bills. I already do that enough even when I do have internet! Oi. It sucks.