I need a Nanny McPhee

I'm not going to lie. I love the majority of children's movies. This is especially so if it is a cartoon. Nanny McPhee, although not a cartoon, I must say is one of my favorite children's movie. The fact that it isn't a cartoon makes it that much more possible for it to be true does it not?

I have decided I need a Nanny McPhee to come into my life, whip me into shape, make me a snow dress and have me marry the man of my dreams. Do I not deserve a Nans McPhee? I mean like Nanny McPhee says, she is there when you need her but not when you want her. Well this is a need! So where the hell is my nan's????

Oh if life was that easy.

I'm on a Nanny McPhee kick after watching it with John John. He allows me to indulge in my love affair with fairy tale and cartoon movies ( more so than my other favorites, Sci Fi... that is always a big no!)

We watched behind the scene clips and the other features they put on DVDs. Here Nanny McPhee has a deeper more profound meaning, I should say they raise the question..

Does Nanny McPhee change because the children change, or is she always who she was and it is the people's perception of her that changes as they change. Oh MY!

My brain will explode.

Deep.




WHERE'S MY NANs McPHEE!!??!!??!!??



On other news..

I had my interview with Children's Hospital yesterday. It went well. But I'm a little hesitant to say that only because it didn't go as well as I hoped, or that is, how i practiced it in my head. I think I am just being to harsh on myself. I think I have a good chance. I was told there are about 10 candidates and 5 will be chosen. I believe myself to be a good contender.

It was interesting being at Children's Hospital. It was so different than I imagined. I thought a lot about what it would be like to work there and in the OR. Than to actually be there for the interview; and it be a actually possibility I will work there seemed so surreal. I am excited about the potential to work there, especially after the interview. Mostly because it will be such a challenge. It will be something new and different. It is as though I will be starting all over again from scratch. How amazing is that? What an experience?! I just hope I was able to convey my readiness and openness to learn to my interviewer.

tired

I'm at work. I am exhausted. I have been exhausted. Not that I didn't have a good nights sleep. And grant it, I am working night shift. But I mean in general life terms, I am exhausted. I feel my body has lost all energy. There are multiple of reasons why my body is worn out. Depression, night shift, lack of exercise, poor eating habits, financial woes and general stress all forcing my body to become a walking bomb. Except I can't imagine an explosion, that would require too much energy for which i have none. It would be more like a fizzle out. Sort of like sugar dissolving into coffee. However there is no sweetness to this story.

I have come to terms with my work. At the moment I have to grin and bear it and apply to positions as they come. It is hard to go to work, especially when you set your own hours, to do something you dread doing. I am over bedside nursing, for at least right now. It is emotionally, physically and mentally draining. I am ready for a change. There is hope though. Dare I write the over used analogy light at the end of the tunnel? I will have an interview with Children's Hospital for the OR Training program. I will truly excited about this potential. I know I am good with interviews so I am not too nervous. I am still worried though. However, if it is meant to be it is meant to be.

As for my depression. That has been an issue for so long in my life. I have chosen not to take medication anymore. Right now because I do not have insurance let alone a primary care provider. I have decided that it is time i leave better habits to help me through the rough times. Unfortunately these are very difficult times as every aspect of my life seems negative, except that I am dating a wonderful guy. That sometimes feels like the only thing going right in my life. With everything else, it makes it difficult to break old habits and get into healthy ones. They say to write, write out the thoughs and feelings that engulf you. That is hard. It always has been. I am a thinker, not a writer or orator. Lord knows, my writing is horrible. I am trying to stay a float though. Treading water and refusing to give up. Unfortunately I have gone into self-mode, already overwhelmed by my own issues it is hard to extend out to others. I feel bad for this. Not that anyone is calling for help, but even to check on others life happenings. There is a lot of dust right now in this time of commotion. Ther eis a lot to be ressolved and worked on. I know time is the key and nothing will happen overnight. However, I am a man of little patience. With my age my patience has grown thinner. I hold onto what I can and do what I can. I just hope things will start working out right, at least in some parts of my life.