Night three of Insomnia

After many years of late nights, I have fully accepted the fact that I am a creature of the night. Although, those that see me in the morning may disagree based on how I can be so perky and awake. The past three nights truly proved to be more than just a late night, it has been down right insomnia. I feel wide awake and ready to take on the world. I almost wish I felt this energetic during the day, maybe I would accomplish more, by more I really mean something, anything. I did clean my bedroom today, Kudos to me. The fact that the majority of my shifts are night shifts, 11p-7a or the dreaded 12 hr shifts 7p-7a, doesn't help. I never had a problem with recovery, until now. In fact I have been doing night shifts since June without a problem. Oddly when I worked at Scripps, I barely slept even when I got home. I think that is in part because it was summer and I was in California, who had time to sleep. Now it is winter and I'm back home in dreary Philadelphia. I have noticed that I do tend to sleep more during the day in general now. I'm a poor winter person. I think I have too strong of a hibernation instinct in me. However, back to point, I have always able to adjust sleeping and fall asleep by 1 or 2, my regular chosen bedtime, sometimes later if out or plane refuse to go to sleep. These past 3 days have been different. I have been wide awake. In fact yesterday I slept, "slept", over Gabe's and didn't actually go to sleep until 430-5. I wasn't really tired I pretty much forced myself to try to sleep, which never really works but seemed to this time. I debated just staying up until he had to go to work. When he woke me up around 620 to say good bye, I awoke as if I slept for days and was completely rejuvenated. I didn't even start to feel the lest bit tired until 2 in the afternoon and than I just went with to see if i could fall asleep. I did, until 6. A mere 4 hours and I still feel wide awake. I blame working two 12hour night shifts saturday and sunday, and then sleeping all day monday until 5pm. I think tomorrow night I will just pop some Bennies just to make sure I fall asleep. Bendadryl doesn't ever make me sleepy except when I lay down to actually fall asleep. Works for me.

Tonight. I hung out with John John. He needed some company, his grandma passed away monday morning, a little after midnight. We walked around the city for about an hour trying to find some place to eat. Gabe met up with us around 845 and we ended up at Pietros. After dinner, went back to John John's and watched Mamma Mia. Awesome movie. I am a sucker for musicals, especially movie musicals. I want a greek wedding, with people dancing and singing and a church on rocks sticking out of the ocean. To top the night off I ended my good night to Gabe with I love you.

The I love you should be a whole other blog, but since I am awake and typing I will just go with it.

I know I was feeling the Love but just hadn't been saying it. I already in my mind established him as my third love. John, Mike and now Gabe. So if in my head i saw him on the same levels as John and Mike than why should I not just tell him that I feel that strongly about him. I think about him when I wake up and right before I fall asleep. I cherish my time with him, and when I am not with him I feel uninspired and lifeless. He fills me with joy and happiness. we are an odd couple, odd as really just goofy, but that is why I enjoy us. I am excited about this relationship and watching it grow! The only thing that really kept me is if it was the right time, didn't want to stay it too soon. Not that that really mattered, he had already dropped it in the middle of January. I was going to wait until Valetine's Day, but that's cheesy. I just went with it tonight. Kudos to me again!