Support Group

A few years ago my then doctor said that if i was to go on antidepressants again she wanted me to stay on them for good. I couldn't accept that amendment. That is when I think I officially wanted to try to mentally win my war with depression. Really, a useless battle, but one I want to, and need to try to accomplish. Needless to say I'm still failing at it. I'm knowingly failing at it though. I become fully aware of my depressive states, and learned my clues to the downward spiral. I also knows what I physically can do to make sure I refrain from falling. There are a combination of things I need to do, nutritionally, physically and spiritually. I know it is time to take this serious. Grant it, I'm not saying medications does not work. They do. But I feel it is a cover. I want to try to accomplish this on my own, like any diagnosis my doctor may give me. I prefer to not to just start taking a pill to mask the symptoms. So often Mental Health is compared to being diagnosed with Diabetes. I don't know why, diabetes is always used. Sometimes, other diseases are thrown out there, but diabetes seems like the number 1 prefer comparison by the Depressed and Bipolar. I do not challenge this and fully accept it. However, my response if the doctor told me I had diabetes would be: what diet modifications and lifestyle changes would I have to make to better control my blood sugar. Unfortunately not as much is known on what brain chemistry is off with depressed individuals. I partly feel it is both a chemical imbalance but also poor coping habits. I want to try to break my habits of when I get depressed. I must sharpen my mental acuity though. I have been lazy with it all. I have ended up where I'm at in part because i let myself get to this point. If i really want to keep on top of this, I need to keep on top of those things that help me prevent and overcome depressive states. A support group I feel will help me keep myself in check. I feel it will help remind me of my condition, thereby making sure I keep up with my preventative measures. I have been dealing with this for 10 years and I know it won't be easy. However, I know better habits won't just help me with depression but help me live healthier, stay in shape and focus my spirituality. It is like a major overhaul. I can only hope I stay focus. It will be difficult, getting motivated is my toughest task.

It wasn't hard for me to go the the support group, although I was nervous. It is hard to get me motivated to do something when I don't have anything to do. Without set tasks or scheduled events (whether it be work, meeting, or gay square dancing) I otherwise just lay in bed all day. I have wasted months so far. I allowed myself to soak in my depression and almost use it as an excuse. No longer. I know I have a light at the end of my tunnel, and always believed that throughout my depressive state. That is something I have learned from my many depressive times, it will get better. I know what this light for this particular tunnel too. First, a change in seasons. This means more available outdoor activities. The second is a new job, which means a shift in career and steady flow of money. However,instead of laying around waiting for it to approach, I want to get that light here faster. Obviously I can not change the weather nor when I start at CHOP, but I can make myself feel better. I can do something with my days instead of letting them go by. Today's step was the support group.

I found the support group online. It is called New Beginnings and meet at a Lutheran Church in Magnolia here in Jersey. I most admit I am impressed with the Lutherans, they seem so community based and supportive. The Independence Squares meet at a Lutheran Church in the city. If I didn't question the divinity of Christ, than I would probably look into the Lutheran church. However, I will stick with learning more about the Quakers and Unitarian Univeralist. My goal with my spirituality this year is go to regular worship services.

What is interesting about most support groups for people who suffer from Depression,is that we are always clumped together with Bipolars. Emotional Support group for those suffering from Bipolar and Depression is the subtitle of most support groups. I see the similarities. I accept it. I just find it interesting we are always put together. I guess we need all the people as possible.

There is another group, Pink and Blues, that meet in the city for those in the LGBT community who suffer from Depression and/or it's cousin Bipolar. I checked this oNew Beginnings out first because it seems like has been around longer and a bit more organized. I think I will still check out Pink and Blues, afterall they do have a cute title! It will come down to the members and who I feel are most supportive.

I am excited about this new adventure in life I will start on.